Who Am I?

Let's play a little game. I'm going to pretend to be someone I'm not and you're going to try to guess who I am. Ready? Okay, let's go.


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I disrespect women. I yell vulgar things at them to make them feel uncomfortable, and the only reason I do it is because they're living their lives the way they want to and I don't like that. Some people argue that I do this for women, but I'm really just against women. People will argue that my disgusting actions are justifiable because the woman was doing something or carrying herself in a manner that some people find unacceptable. My actions hurt women; They make them cry, feel uncomfortable, feel angry, etc. The sole reason for doing what I do is to intimidate women into living their lives in a way that suits my wants and needs. Who am I?



There are two answers. Ready to see if you got it right?










Answer 1:
A street harasser

Answer 2:
An abortion clinic protester

+100 if you got one, +200 if you got both :)

A Culture of Life

"Give The Gift Of Life"

"It's About Life"

"Save a Life!"

If you're at all involved in the abortion "debate", slogans that are similar to these should sound very familiar to you. The side of the abortion debate that masquerades as "pro-life" uses similar slogans all the time. They claim that they're saving lives, that they're on the side of life, and that they are the ones who are promoting a "culture of life".

However, the slogans that I just listed are not from anti-choice groups. They're from Florida Blood Services, the organization that helped me donate blood last Friday.

Now, although the anti-choice movement and blood donation centers have similar slogans (and, to those who are very misguided, similar ideals), these two groups could not be further apart. Only one of these groups is truly on the side of life, only one of these groups is truly saving lives, and only one of these groups is actually promoting a culture of life. Which group is that, you ask? Do I really have to say it?

Now, many anti-choicers seem to be confused about how to promote a culture of life. It seems that, for some of them, promoting a culture of life includes:

1) Taking away people's liberty.

2) Harassing doctors and their patients

3) Lying to others.

4) Enforcing laws that kill women.

5) Killing doctors.

Now, I don't know about you, but I don't think any of those things are promoting a culture of life. Here's what I think promotes a real culture of life:

How to promote a culture of life:

1) Donate blood

2) Become a vegetarian or vegan.

3) Do not promote restrictions on health care

4) Do not promote laws that do nothing but kill.

5) Volunteer to help those who are less fortunate or less privileged than you are.

6) Donate to a charity.

7) Adopt an animal in need.

8) Volunteer to help animals in need.

9) Protect liberty (and yes, that does include reproductive liberty).

10) Show your appreciation for people who save lives. Thank them.

At least, that's how I like to promote a culture of life. What do you do to really promote a culture of life?

Anti-Choice Love

So, lately I've been rereading a lot of the anti-choice comments I've been getting on my blog.

"you are totally Cuckoo."

"If you have any love for any women other than the one in the mirror, I have yet to see it. It's painfully obvious you hate that one, too. Enjoy your bitterness and anger. At the end of your life, it's all you'll have left."

"Women like you make the rest of us look like fools. If that's feminism, please keep it to yourself. And if you were truly a rape victim" (emphasis mine)

"You'll make a great abortionist. Unfeeling to the last, except when it comes to number one."
*side note- Why, thank you for telling me that I'll make a great doctor.

"you are deranged and dangerous."

"you are just as predatory as those you claim to despise."

"I really believe the only way you could ever live with yourself is to tell yourself that you are helping us."

"You are pathetic and I'm not wasting another minute on you. Hater."
"You don't speak for all women, and you sure as hell don't speak for this one, predator."

"But I'd bet everything I own that no one lost a life when your (wisdom) teeth were pulled. Too bad the wisdom was taken along with the teeth."

"Proud ProLife Feminist Mother puking in mouth with the thought of Not Guilty coming in contact with anyone's daughter."

Always remember: If an anti-choicer is pissed off at you, starts calling you names, and starts assuming things about your life, you've probably been doing something right.

"I Don't Support Roeder BUT..."

I've sure you're all familiar with the anti-choicers who say things like "I don't support Roeder, but Tiller was a murderer!" or "I don't support Roeder, but I sure do understand where he was coming from!" They're everywhere. These kind of comments infest blogs like Jill Stanek's blog and Operation Rescue. It's very telling of the "pro-life" movement. Very telling indeed.

To me, the "I don't support Roeder BUT.." people are just as bad as the people who openly support what he did. They're like rape apologists, in a way. It's not much different than saying "I don't support rape, BUT she really shouldn't have been wearing that skirt" or "I don't support rape, BUT it was partially her fault for flirting with him beforehand". Rape apologists are pro-rape, and the antis who make excuses for Dr. Tiller's assassination are pro-murder. Let's look at some examples. Let's look at this comment, posted on Jill Stanek's by Joe on April 2, 2010 4:44 PM. Joe starts out by saying this:

"I do not support what Scott Roeder did."

That's fine and dandy, but you can totally see the murder apologism coming, can't you? He goes on to say:

"However, the person he killed was not an innocent human being. The person whom he killed had killed 60,000 human beings. 60,000!"

AHA! THERE IT IS! Didn't take you long, buddy.

"Scott Roeder understandably believed that something had to be done to stop this evil." and "He didn't kill for his own benefit, he did it to save the lives of the unborn. He may in fact have saved unborn live" (emphasis mine)

And here he goes on to portray Roeder as the hero. You, my friend, are one reason why abortion providers live in constant fear of being murdered. By law, you may be innocent, but in your heart, you should know that you have blood on your hands.

"It is a mistake for our movement to demonize people like Scott Roeder. Criticize what he did, but understand why he did it. Since he killed someone who had killed a large number of people and would continue to do so, I felt that this should have been taken into consideration and he should have been given a lesser sentence."

Translation: I don't support what Roeder did, but I support what Roeder did.


Good job, Joe. This is why I use the term anti-choice, not "pro-life". By the way, no one on Stanek's blog objected to what you said. No one. Let's take a look at the comment section at Operation oppress-you to prove that you aren't the only one. This one was posted by Anne Robertson on May 31st, 2009 12:34 pm.

"While I would never encourage or condone such action I cannot pretend to feel sadness at his passing. He has taken the last infant life that he will."

I bet this came from a person who has claimed in the past that she feels sadness for every human life lost. Again, no one objected to this comment. No one. Think that one is sick? Check out this next one, posted by Sarah on June 2nd, 2009 10:03 am.

"I had just been praying every night for two weeks when it came to abortion to save their souls or slay them dead! and now Tiller is dead!"

At least she's not hiding the fact that she's pro-murder. She continues to say "God ALLOWED it to happen" .. And God allowed the Holocaust to happen. Humans have free will. Just because God allowed Roeder to murder an innocent man doesn't mean that that's what God wanted. Hell, God allows abortion to happen. Do you think God wants abortion rights? (I do, but that's besides the point.)

Now, Sarah goes on to say that she DOES feel sad that he was killed. Um.. what? Why were you praying for his death, then? Once again, not one soul in the comment section called Sarah out on her pro-murder stance. No one.

Scott Roeder is going to be in prison for the rest of his life, but as you can see, there are still terrorists and terrorist supporters. There is no doubt that there will be much, much more violence to come because of people like Jill Stanek, Troy Newman, Cheryl Sullenger, and their followers. No doubt at all.

Hijacking Feminism: The Feminists Who Hate Women

You all know who they are. They call themselves "pro-life feminists". They're the ones that claim that "women deserve better" than having equal rights. They're the Susan B. Anthony List. They're the Feminists for Life.

They're liars, frauds, and misogynists.

There is absolutely nothing feminist about forcing women through pregnancies. There's nothing feminist about intentionally traumatizing them. There's nothing feminist about supporting causes and laws that kill women. Nothing feminist at all. Those people are just as feminist as they are pro-life (meaning, not at all).

I'm not the kind of person that will try to take away someone's "feminist card", but I do draw the line at certain points. If someone believes that rape is okay, then that person isn't a feminist. If someone believes that women shouldn't have the right to vote, then that person isn't a feminist. If someone believes that women don't deserve to have bodily autonomy, then that person isn't a feminist. I strongly believe that the only reason these people call themselves "feminists" is not because they care about women, it's because they want to make it look like they care about women, just like antis who kill doctors try to make it look like they care about life. Either that, or they care about women, but only in some cases. It's sort of like how my parents love me, but if it came between choosing between me and a fetus, they'd let their politics get in the way of family.

Personally, I see a pattern. Antis try to take away women's basic human rights, and they call it feminism. They force women through pregnancies and call it reproductive justice. They kill doctors* and call it "pro-life".

You know what the worst part about this is, though? Some, maybe even many, real feminists are okay with anti-choicers calling themselves feminists. Seriously? Would you be okay with someone who believes that women shouldn't get the right to vote calling themselves a feminist? No? Then why call an anti a feminist? I would venture to say that the right to choice (abortion, pregnancy, VBAC, etc) is even more of a basic human right than the right to vote. The right to your own body should be considered a God given right. It's an essential part of our liberty. It should go without saying that someone who believes in taking away a huge part of our liberty isn't a feminist.

It's time to take off that veil, antis. We know who you are, and we aren't about to let you hijack feminism.

*Speaking of killing doctors, in case you haven't heard, Scott Roeder (the terrorist that killed Dr. Tiller) has gotten the hard 50. You're in there for life, terrorist!

An End to the 40 Days for Lies

This is a bit delayed, but the 40 Days for Lies ended on Sunday, March 28th. Last time I wrote about the 40 Days for Lies, quite a few anti-abortionists claimed that "it's not about harassment! All we do is pray!" or "40 days for life (sic) is a peaceful protest".

While it may be true that some of the protesters for the 40 days for lies are "just praying", and while it may be trust that some of them may have good intentions, that doesn't make the whole campaign any better. Their good intentions do not make the environment any less hostile, for the patients or for the doctors. Their good intentions do not mean that they aren't bringing a dangerous amount of attention to doctors. The good intentions of some protesters do not minimize the fact that this campaign is a hurtful one, whose main purpose is to harass women.

If the 40 days for lies campaign were just about praying for women who would have abortions, they would stay at home and pray. However, they choose to "pray" at the clinics. The reason? They want to make a presence. They know that making a presence will scare patients. They know that making a presence at abortion clinics will threaten doctors. It's not about life. It's not about helping people.

Some words about the 40 days for lies, from Dr. Warren Hern.

"We cannot use the front entrance of my office, and we can't use the front driveway exit of my office with the demonstrators present," Dr. Hern said. "My friend and colleague Dr. George Tiller was shot by a "peaceful" anti-abortion demonstrator in August, 1993 as he drove out of his office driveway in Wichita, Kansas in an assassination attempt." Shelley Shannon, the woman who shot Dr. Tiller, wrote to Dr. Hern from Kansas state prison telling him, "You're next."

Dr. Tiller was assassinated in church last May 31, 2009 by Scott Roeder, who has been convicted of first degree murder.

"The anti-abortion protesters in front of my office terrorize me, my staff, and my patients. 35 years of anti-abortion violence and assassinations have taught us that there is no such thing as a 'peaceful' anti-abortion demonstration. Every single act of violence, every single clinic bombing, every single assassination and murder by anti-abortion fanatics has been preceded by 'peaceful' demonstrations and 'prayer vigils,' Hern said. "This is target identification for anti-abortion assassins. The mere presence of the demonstrators is, as far as we are concerned, a 'threat of force' because of the history of anti-abortion violence," said Hern.

"The '40 Days For Life' demonstrators and the Sacred Heart of Jesus Catholic Church is giving Boulder an unwarranted international reputation for anti-abortion fanaticism," Hern said. "The priest is orchestrating this medieval madness."

"The Sacred Heart of Jesus Catholic Church was involved in the disgraceful theft of fetal ashes from my patients from different religious traditions for burial in the church cemetery on January 22, 2005, the anniversary of Roe v. Wade," Hern said. "This was outrageous political and sectarian exploitation of personal tragedy and willful violation of the privacy and personal grief of my patients," said Hern.

http://blogs.westword.com/latestword/2010/03/boulder_abortion_doc_warren_he.php

Dr. Hern is right. There is no such thing as a "peaceful" anti-choice protest. Killing doctors and taking away liberty will never be peaceful.

Also, please remember that, even though the 40 days for the harassment of women is officially over, a lot of clinics still need your help. It's not to late to volunteer to escort!

10 Reasons Why Choice is a Good Thing

There are a lot of reasons why having choice is a good thing. Here are a few:


1. Without choice, women will never be respected.

For years, feminists and other women's rights activists have been fighting against the objectification and dehumanization of women. Without respect for our basic reproductive freedoms and bodily autonomy, women are not respected at all.

2. Forcing women through pregnancies forces them into poverty.

When a woman is already poor, a forced pregnancy is the last thing that she needs. 60% of women who have abortions already have at least one kid, and many of those women are struggling to take care of the kid(s) that they have.

3. It's harder for women to escape abusive relationships without choice

If the anti-choice movement were to get its way, birth control would be illegal. Many women who are in abusive relationships, in which they may be constantly raped or coerced into unprotected sex, rely on more discreet forms of birth control in order to avoid being constantly pregnant. Also, if a woman in an abusive relationship does get pregnant, forcing her to have a child could trap her further. She may feel helpless, and she may feel like that must stay with her abusive partner for the sake of the child. Either way, taking away choice is extremely harmful to those who are in abusive relationships.

4. Choice protects women's health

Whether it's the choice to have a VBAC, to breastfeed, or to have an abortion, choice is essential to women's health. The anti-choice movement deprives women of their reproductive freedom, and they make no exceptions for the health the woman.

Fun fact: I recently learned that previous c-sections increase a woman's risks of serious injury during an abortion. Looks like all reproductive rights are related to each other!

5. If the right to choice goes, then other rights will follow suit.

If we let the anti-choicers win this fight, then it's not only the right to abortion that will go. If they can take away our bodily autonomy, then they can take away the right to birth control, the right to VBAC, trans rights, the right to breastfeed in public, gay rights, etc. The list is endless.

6. Who doesn't want more options?

I mean, really! If I get pregnant, I don't want to feel as if the only two options I have are to 1) go through the pregnancy or 2) risk killing/maiming myself by attempting a DIY or back-alley abortion. Even if I decided to go through the pregnancy, it's something that I'd want to do out of my own free will. Not because I had to. Wouldn't you want that same freedom?

7. Without choice, there is no liberty.

Taking away reproductive rights is taking away an essential part of women's liberty. Anti-choicers are trying to enslave women with their own pregnancies. The message that they're sending out to women is "Do what I tell you to. If you don't, then you are a selfish, immoral, baby killing slut."

8. Outlawing abortion is discriminatory against poor women.

If abortion becomes illegal, privileged, rich women will be able to obtain safe abortions by traveling to other countries. Poor women, however, will be forced to either carry the pregnancy to term or attempt an unsafe abortion on their own. This ties back into my previous post. Why should rich women have the right to abortion, while less privileged women don't?

9. Choice saves women a lot of emotional pain.

An excerpt from a piece by Kathryn Joyce, called Shotgun Adoption.

Jordan was isolated in the shepherding family's house; her only social contact was with the agency, which called her a "saint" for continuing her pregnancy but asked her to consider "what's best for the baby." "They come on really prolife: look at the baby, look at its heartbeat, don't kill it. Then, once you say you won't kill it, they ask, What can you give it? You have nothing to offer, but here's a family that goes on a cruise every year."

Jordan was given scrapbooks full of letters and photos from hopeful adoptive parents hoping to stand out among the estimated 150 couples for every available baby. Today the "birthmother letters" are on Bethany's website: 500 couples who pay $14,500 to $25,500 for a domestic infant adoption, vying for mothers' attention with profuse praise of their "selflessness" and descriptions of the lifestyle they can offer.

Jordan selected a couple, and when she went into labor, they attended the birth, along with her counselor and shepherding mother. The next day, the counselor said that fully open adoptions weren't legal in South Carolina, so Jordan wouldn't receive identifying information on the adoptive parents. Jordan cried all day and didn't think she could relinquish the baby. She called her shepherding parents and asked if she could bring the baby home. They refused, chastising Jordan sharply. The counselor told the couple Jordan was having second thoughts and brought them, sobbing, into her recovery room. The counselor warned Jordan that if she persisted, she'd end up homeless and lose the baby anyway.

"My options were to leave the hospital walking, with no money," says Jordan. "Or here's a couple with Pottery Barn furniture. You sacrifice yourself, not knowing it will leave an impact on you and your child for life."

The next morning, Jordan was rushed through signing relinquishment papers by a busy, on-duty nurse serving as notary public. As soon as she'd signed, the couple left with the baby, and Jordan was taken home without being discharged. The shepherding family was celebrating and asked why Jordan wouldn't stop crying. Five days later, she used her last $50 to buy a Greyhound ticket to Greenville, where she struggled for weeks to reach a Bethany post-adoption counselor as her milk came in and she rapidly lost more than fifty pounds in her grief.

When Jordan called Bethany's statewide headquarters one night, her shepherding mother answered, responding coldly to Jordan's lament. "You're the one who spread your legs and got pregnant out of wedlock," she told Jordan. "You have no right to grieve for this baby."

Forced/coerced adoption isn't the only problem. Forcing a woman through a pregnancy can cause a tremendous amount of pain for her, and it can scar her for life. Many women experience depression after having c-sections, particularly if those c-sections were forced. The less choices women have, the more pain they are likely to experience.

And last, but not least:

10. Choice saves lives.

Choice saves women's lives. It's true. You can deny every illegal and unsafe abortion that has ever happened, but as long as women are deprived of choice, women die.


What are some things that you like about choice?

The "Pro-Choicers" Who Force Birth

As I'm sure you all know, health care reform passed recently. The health care reform battle has triggered a lot of debates concerning abortion, and people everywhere have been sharing their opinions. To my dismay, some of these people, who call themselves pro-choice, have actually been supporting Stupak and his attempts to dump abortion coverage from health care reform. The question that I have for them is this; why?

Pro-Choice: The belief that all people should have the right to decide what is going to happen to his or her body, particularly as it pertains to pregnancy. I would hope that all pro-choicers would agree on this definition. The thing is, without access to abortion, the legality of the procedure is meaningless. Operation Rescue knows this, that's why they're trying to exterminate abortion providers. Stupak knows this, that's why he tried to eliminate all federal funds for abortions during the health care reform battle. Anti-choicers know this piece of information, and they're using it as a weapon to eliminate women's rights. However, are pro-choicers aware of this fact?

I would say that, for the most part, pro-choicers are aware of the fact that, without access, the right to abortion means nothing. However, it seems as if a good number of self proclaimed pro-choicers either don't realize this or don't care. These "pro-choicers" say that they support the legality of abortion, but only if the woman has a good enough reason, or only if this is her first abortion, or only if she's not using it as "birth control". The types of "pro-choicers" that I'll be writing about today are the ones who support the legality of abortion, but do not support the funding of abortion.

I'll say it again. Without access, the right to abortion is meaningless. There are a lot of women that, if they had to, could get by and have an abortion without financial assistance from outside sources. For me and for many of you that are reading this, $400 dollars isn't that much to pay. We would be able to pay for an abortion out of our own pockets.

If you are one of those people, then you are privileged.

Many other women aren't as privileged as you are. Many women have to keep on rescheduling their appointments, over and over again, because they can never gather up enough money. This poses as a major problem because, as you know, abortions become more expensive (not to mention more risky!) as the pregnancy goes on. Some women have to skip meals, or skip out on paying their rent for the month. Some women can't afford a hotel and are forced to sleep in their cars because of the anti-choice mandatory waiting periods. Others can't afford a safe abortion at all, and have to resort to going to unsafe clinics like Dr. Gosnell's clinic. Some take the matters into their own hands, and throw themselves down a flight of stairs, or ask their boyfriend's to beat them up in order to induce a miscarriage. To those who are "pro-choice" but do not support the funding of abortions, I ask you; what of those women? What of their choice?

I was talking to one of these "pro-choicers" on Twitter, and I asked her about those women. I asked her what a woman should do if she can not afford an abortion. Her answer? "if you can't afford an abortion, then you are going to have a baby. Period."

How the hell is that pro-choice?

That woman is "pro-choice", but only for the people are are privileged enough to be able to afford an abortion. Otherwise, she isn't much different from anti-choicers. She supports forcing women through pregnancies. What's pro-choice about that?

To all of the pro-choicers out there, you can donate to an abortion fund here. Please fight for the right to choose, even for women who are not as privileged as you are.

Why I'm Pro-Choice

This will be my first post to the Abortion Gang, started by our lovely @IAmDrTiller from Twitter. I'm excited to join XD

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I wish I could tell you some dramatic story about how I became pro-choice. I wish I could tell you a story of an illegal, botched abortion, or a story of an experience that I had with abortion or with a pregnancy. I wish I could tell you a story that might make you cry. I wish I could tell you of one life-changing, significant event that led me from being an anti-choicer to a pro-choice activist.

The truth is, I can't.

My anti-choice to pro-choice transformation did not occur because of a single event. It was a process. I started out as an anti-choicer in my early teens. I believed that, if a woman or girl was "slutty" enough to get pregnant, that she should have to go through the pregnancy. I did not have a tiny bit of compassion for the woman in the situation. It was more about punishment for having sex than anything else. I don't even think I cared about the embryo very much, if at all. In other words, I was a typical anti.

My transition was big learning experience, As I matured, I learned of compassion. As I learned to be compassionate, and as I learned to love people, my views in regards to abortion became more and more liberal. I came to recognize the fact that a person owns hir body, regardless of what is living inside of it. I learned that each person who has an abortion has her own story in life, and that story deserves to be heard. It deserves to be listened to, and not judged. I learned that pregnancy is not a black and white issue. Women are human beings and, just like any other human being, they are capable of making mistakes. I learned that it's not my place to judge and to blame people, but to listen and to educate as well as I can. By the age of 16 or 17, I became a pro-choice activist (or as much of an activist that I could have been with restrictive, anti-choice parents). I do not think that it's a coincidence that, as soon as I learned to love people, I became pro-choice.

So, why am I pro-choice? Because I trust women. Why do I trust women? Because I trust and love humanity. It's that simple.

Day 1 of 40 Days for Lies

In case you haven't heard, it's the start of another 40 days against women's lives. If you don't know about the "40 Days for Life (sic)", it's basically when the antis choose to go to abortion clinics and stalk and harass the patients there (well, more than they normally do, anyway).

Sadly, we can't stop them from harassing patients at reproductive health clinics. However, that doesn't mean that we can't help the clinics and patients get through these next 40 days. There are a few ways that you can help. You can:

1) escort at a clinic. This is probably one of the best ways to help the patients bear with the protesters. If you don't already know, escorts act as a buffer between the antis and the patients. They help the patients get through the protesters . If you're interested, you can call a clinic near you and ask about escorting. You can also look on the "40 Days for Life (sic)" website to see the list of targeted clinics, so you can see where help is most needed.

2) donate! Donating to a clinic/abortion fund/pro-choice organization is a good way to help. Any amount of money is great, but I like the idea of donating $40 dollars to make a statement against the 40 days for lies.

3) counter-protest. Before you go to a clinic to counter-protest the antis, you may want to call the clinic and ask if they'd appreciate it. They may like having you there, or they may not want the extra commotion.

The 40 days for lies starts today and ends on March 28th. God bless all of you that are going to help the clinics and patients. Good luck!

Anti-Choicers and Rape Apologists

When I first became interested in feminism, the topic that interested (and horrified) me the most was rape, and in particular, rape apologists. Rape apologists are the people who say things like "I'm against rape, but it really was her fault for wearing that skirt". They're the people who would rather blame victims of rape for being raped, as opposed to blaming rapists for raping people. Rape apologists have a long list of things that people, particularly women, should do/not do in order to not get raped. If these rules were to be made law, America would start looking a lot like some middle eastern countries. Rape apologists use rape as a tool to exert their dominance over women, and sadly, it's working.

I don't think it's a coincidence that the vast majority of rape apologists that I've met have been anti-choicers, and that many (most?) antis that I've met have been pro-rape. The similarities between rape apologists and anti-choicers are striking. Antis, like rape apologists, like to blame the woman for the pain that she's in. If she's hurting from an unwanted pregnancy, you'll hear them say "It's her fault, she shouldn't have been having sex". Rape apologists deny the pain of rape victims by saying that "It's just sex. Sex is natural". Anti-choicers do the same thing by claiming that, since pregnancy is natural, forcing a person through a pregnancy won't hurt hir. Anti-choicers use pregnancy, a beautiful and natural occurrence, as a weapon to keep women "in their place", just as rapists use sex, yet another beautiful and natural occurrence, to exert their dominance over people and to put them "in their place". Antis believe that the fetus has the right to use another person's body against hir will, much like the belief that people should always have access to a woman's body for sex, despite what she says. Their beliefs show a complete disregard for people's bodily autonomy and the right not to be violated. Rape apologists and anti-choicers just don't get that sex and pregnancy are both beautiful. Forced sex and forced pregnancy are not.

If you try to discuss the subject of pregnancies that resulted from rape with an anti, you're not likely to hear a lot of sympathy coming from their side. Whenever I try to have this discussion, the antis are never able to sympathize with the women. It's always about the fetus for them. They'll include both the rapist and the fetus into the discussion by saying something like "It's not the baby's fault that its father was a rapist!", but there will be no mention of the person CARRYING the fetus. Rape victims are invisible to them. They speak of us as if we're objects that feel no pain.

Now, if you're lucky, the anti MIGHT acknowledge a rape victim's existence by saying that she can just "give the kid up for adoption". This is just another way to ignore the pain that the person carrying the fetus might go through. I've never been pregnant, but I'm willing to bet that pregnancy is no cakewalk. I can't imagine how some people may feel when they get pregnant as a result of rape. Giving the child up for adoption doesn't mean that you don't have to go through 9 months of pregnancy. It won't erase the trauma. The abortion issue isn't just about the nine months of pregnancy, or just about the responsibility for the child afterwards. It's about the whole picture. Pro-choicers don't ignore some people's pain by narrowing the scope. If an anti isn't trying to make rape victims completely invisible, then s/he will most certainly try to make hir pain invisible.

Rape victims are invisible to a lot of people. Most people won't hear our voices. Most people don't even know what rape is, beyond the idea of a young, pretty cis girl being attacked and raped in a dark alley. Anti-choicers neglect us, because they know that hearing us out is detrimental to their political agenda. They know that listening to our voices can't possibly benefit their agenda, so they ignore us. It seems like they'll hurt anyone and everyone, as long as they get their way.

I've had a lot of triggering conversations with antis about this subject. Their complete disregard for the experience and emotions of rape victims horrifies me. It's made me come to the realization that, if we were to let them win, the rape culture would win, too. It wouldn't be just the right to choose that would be flushed down the drain. Other rights would go, as well. Any right that has to do with protecting our bodily autonomy will be destroyed. Anti-choicers and rape apologists have similar beliefs and goals and, in a sense, they make perfect partners in crime.

My Mother's Right to Choice

"What if your mom had aborted you?"

If you're involved or ever going to be involved in debate with anti-choicers, this talking point is bound to come up at least once. It is yet another emotionally charged point that's most likely coming from an anti that won't bother to listen to your answer, anyway. It's also full of crap.

Seriously, I don't even know where to begin with this one. I'm pro-choice because I care about people, I really do. I care about pregnant people. I care about their right to choose. I also love my mom. Of all people, I'm going to stand up for her rights, first. What makes these people think that I want all people to have reproductive rights EXCEPT for my mom? I know this is hard for some antis to believe, but it's not always all about you. It's not about me. It's about my mom, my cousins, my aunts, my best friends.. It's about everyone BUT me.

What if my mother HAD chosen abortion when she was pregnant with me? The truth is, I wouldn't really care. I wouldn't have the potential to care. Why don't anti-choicers ask us what would have happened if our parents chose to stay up and watch TV instead of having sex? What if my parents never met? What about all of those brothers and sisters I would have had if my parents had children back to back? Isn't it wrong to deprive those potential children of life? Shouldn't we force people to have children back to back, so we won't be depriving anyone of life?

If you ever debate with antis, you're going to be bombarded with a myriad of stupid arguments. This is just one of them. Be prepared.

The "Pro-Life" Veil

The other day, I attempted to donate blood. When I was in the blood donation center, I saw an ad that featured a smiling baby holding a teddy bear, and on it there were the words "Save A Life!". The first thing that you see when you open up their webpage are the words "Give The Gift Of Life". Their ads and slogans are strikingly similar to anti-choice ads, slogans, posters, etc. They use emotional appeal, they love to show off smiling babies in their ads, and they encourage people to "save a life". If I didn't know any better, I'd think that the anti-choice movement and the advocates for blood donation actually shared the common goal to save lives.

Boy, is that statement wrong. The two movements couldn't be more far apart from each other.

The anti-choice movement is, in all actuality, very pro-death. They support the killing of women and doctors, and they go on to disguise their real intentions by hiding behind the term "pro-life". They use emotional appeal, not facts, to brainwash people into believing that they are, in fact, for life. In our world, we consider it possible for someone to be pro-death penalty, pro-war, pro-torture, pro-back alley abortion, pro-killing of doctors and "pro-life" all at the same time. Whose life is it that they're supporting, again?

You know who I consider pro-life? People who work at blood donation centers, people who donate blood, vegans and vegetarians, people who adopt animals in need, doctors who save lives, etc. It's more than just talk for those people. They act to help defend life, as opposed to anti-choice people who say that they defend life, and then go on to do as much as they can to destroy it.

Pro-Life is a term that's designed to kill. The phrase "pro-life" implies that pro-choicers are anti-life. It implies that doctors who save women's lives are against life. As Dr. Hern says, pro-life "is a dagger of psychological warfare that is backed by hate and terror." Doctors are being killed because of anti-choice rhetoric. When they send out the message that doctors are pro-death Nazis who murder babies, they dehumanize them and brainwash people into believing that doctors are okay to kill. The term pro-life is simply a mask. It's a veil that is being used to disguise their true intentions.

"There is an hour to come...when all of us shall cast aside our veils."
-Nathaniel Hawthorne (The Minister's Black Veil)

Let's State the Obvious: Roeder is Guilty

Today, terrorist Scott Roeder was found guilty of 1st degree premeditated murder and two counts of aggravated assault. Foulston told the court that she will pursue a "hard 50", meaning that Roeder will have to serve at least 50 years before the possibility of parole. Dr. Tiller's family released this statement:

"The family of Dr. George Tiller would like to thank the jury, District Attorney Nola Foulston and her office and law enforcement for their service in this difficult matter. Once again, a Sedgwick County jury has reached a just verdict. We also want to thank George's countless friends and supporters in Wichita and around the country who have offered their comfort.

"At this time we hope that George can be remembered for his legacy of service to women, the help he provided for those who needed it and the love and happiness he provided us as a husband, father and grandfather."

http://www.kansas.com/news/featured/story/1158413.html

I'm very thankful, I really am. I'm happy that this terrorist is going to get what he deserves. I'm happy that he was convicted of 1st degree murder. However, we have still lost a great man. Even if another doctor were to step up and take Dr. Tiller's place, Dr. Tiller was so much more than just a doctor. He was a husband, a father, a grandfather, a friend, and a hero to many people. The pro-choice movement can not forget Dr. Tiller, along with the 7 other providers that anti-choice terrorists brutally killed. We can't afford to forget them, even when things are going strong for us. Even in all of my happiness about Roeder's conviction, I can't help but to ask myself this: How many more doctors will have to die?

What "Trust Women" Means To Me

This is a (delayed) response to NARAL's prompt for Blog for Choice day.

To me, to trust women means..

to believe them when they say "I do not regret my abortion" instead of saying "you will eventually!"
to support their choice to have a natural birth.
to offer a rape victim compassion and understanding instead of telling him/her that s/he "shouldn't have been walking alone", that s/he "shouldn't have gone to that person's house", or that s/he "shouldn't have gotten so drunk".
knowing that you don't know what's best for a woman. She does.
not forcing sterilization upon them.
to believe them if they are hurt after their abortions, and to offer them love and support.
not forcing abortion upon them.
refraining from telling a woman that she's "too young to decide if she doesn't want children" and denying her a tubal ligation.
to support their right to feed their children in public, and to do so without judgment and criticism.
not forcing adoption upon them.
to support their right to have a c-section, and to do so without judgment and criticism.
to support their choice to give birth at home.
supporting the choice to work outside of the home.
not forcing pregnancy upon them.
to support their choice to have an epidural when giving birth.
refraining from calling women and the doctors that help them "baby killers", "murderers", or "nazis".
to support their right not to breastfeed, and to do so without judgment and criticism.
refraining from harassing women who are just trying to see the doctor.
not working tirelessly to take away their basic human rights.
being an advocate for their access to health care.
supporting the choice to stay at home.
to support their choice to give birth in a hospital.
not expecting them to live up to the beauty standard that society has set.
to recognize the fact that women are full persons with full human rights, including the right to liberty.

To sum it all up; to me, trusting women means being pro-choice. Without being pro-choice you can not and do not trust women. If you are anti-choice, you don't trust women with their own bodies, with their own lives, and with their own families. You're pretending that you know each individual woman better than she knows herself. You're devaluing women. You're treating them like objects, much like rapists do. To be anti-choice is to deny women of their humanity.

I choose to trust women because of my mom, my cousins, my best friends, my aunts, and my grandmothers. I choose to remember all of the amazing things that they might do, and have done, for this world. I choose to recognize their personhood.

I trust women because I know that Dr. Slepian, Dr. Gunn, Dr. Britton, James Barret, Shannon Lowney, Lee Ann Nichols, Robert Sanderson, and Dr. Tiller did not give their lives for nothing. God bless them.

I trust women because, without trusting half of the population, you do not trust humanity. I have faith in humanity.

Yes, I Am Pro-Abortion

"No one wants an abortion, therefore I am not pro-abortion."

How many times have you heard pro-choice people expressing this sentiment? I hear it on Twitter, on blogs, in real life.. It's a troublesome statement. Abortion is a naughty word. No one, even among the pro-choice community, is supposed to portray abortion as a good thing. We're supposed to hate abortion. We're supposed to think that it's terrible. We advocate for abortion to become safe, legal, and "rare". The anti-choicers have succeeded in scaring us away from the word "abortion". The question is this: Why have we let them?

We must be careful with our words, because words are powerful. Words can hurt people, and words can silence people. Do not say "no one wants an abortion", which is a potentially silencing statement for women who do want their abortions, when you mean to say "no one wants an unwanted pregnancy". Don't say "I'm not pro-abortion", when you do in fact support abortion, among many other choices. Being pro-abortion is a small part of the larger picture. You can't be pro-choice without being pro-abortion, along with being pro-pregnancy, pro-adoption, pro-parenting, etc. Let's quit with the "safe, legal, and 'rare'" sentiment. When it's safe and legal, and when we have comprehensive sex education, we will have as many abortions as we need.

Anti-choicers have shamed us into avoiding the a-word. It's time to reclaim the word. It's time to make it our own again. In order to remove the stigma attached to having an abortion, we have to first remove the stigma attached to the word in our own statements. It's time to accept that abortion isn't terrible. Abortion is a blessing.

“Let’s be very clear about this: when a woman finds herself pregnant due to violence and chooses an abortion, it is the violence that is the tragedy; the abortion is a blessing.

When a woman finds that the fetus she is carrying has anomalies incompatible with life, that it will not live and that she requires an abortion — often a late-term abortion — to protect her life, her health, or her fertility, it is the shattering of her hopes and dreams for that pregnancy that is the tragedy; the abortion is a blessing.

When a woman wants a child but can’t afford one because she hasn’t the education necessary for a sustainable job, or access to health care, or day care, or adequate food, it is the abysmal priorities of our nation, the lack of social supports, the absence of justice that are the tragedies; the abortion is a blessing.

And when a woman becomes pregnant within a loving, supportive, respectful relationship; has every option open to her; decides she does not wish to bear a child; and has access to a safe, affordable abortion — there is not a tragedy in sight — only blessing. The ability to enjoy God’s good gift of sexuality without compromising one’s education, life’s work, or ability to put to use God’s gifts and call is simply blessing.

These are the two things I want you, please, to remember — abortion is a blessing and our work is not done.”

–Rev. Katherine Ragsdale