Tuesday, March 30, 2010

10 Reasons Why Choice is a Good Thing

There are a lot of reasons why having choice is a good thing. Here are a few:

1. Without choice, women will never be respected.

For years, feminists and other women's rights activists have been fighting against the objectification and dehumanization of women. Without respect for our basic reproductive freedoms and bodily autonomy, women are not respected at all.

2. Forcing women through pregnancies forces them into poverty.

When a woman is already poor, a forced pregnancy is the last thing that she needs. 60% of women who have abortions already have at least one kid, and many of those women are struggling to take care of the kid(s) that they have.

3. It's harder for women to escape abusive relationships without choice

If the anti-choice movement were to get its way, birth control would be illegal. Many women who are in abusive relationships, in which they may be constantly raped or coerced into unprotected sex, rely on more discreet forms of birth control in order to avoid being constantly pregnant. Also, if a woman in an abusive relationship does get pregnant, forcing her to have a child could trap her further. She may feel helpless, and she may feel like that must stay with her abusive partner for the sake of the child. Either way, taking away choice is extremely harmful to those who are in abusive relationships.

4. Choice protects women's health

Whether it's the choice to have a VBAC, to breastfeed, or to have an abortion, choice is essential to women's health. The anti-choice movement deprives women of their reproductive freedom, and they make no exceptions for the health the woman.

Fun fact: I recently learned that previous c-sections increase a woman's risks of serious injury during an abortion. Looks like all reproductive rights are related to each other!

5. If the right to choice goes, then other rights will follow suit.

If we let the anti-choicers win this fight, then it's not only the right to abortion that will go. If they can take away our bodily autonomy, then they can take away the right to birth control, the right to VBAC, trans rights, the right to breastfeed in public, gay rights, etc. The list is endless.

6. Who doesn't want more options?

I mean, really! If I get pregnant, I don't want to feel as if the only two options I have are to 1) go through the pregnancy or 2) risk killing/maiming myself by attempting a DIY or back-alley abortion. Even if I decided to go through the pregnancy, it's something that I'd want to do out of my own free will. Not because I had to. Wouldn't you want that same freedom?

7. Without choice, there is no liberty.

Taking away reproductive rights is taking away an essential part of women's liberty. Anti-choicers are trying to enslave women with their own pregnancies. The message that they're sending out to women is "Do what I tell you to. If you don't, then you are a selfish, immoral, baby killing slut."

8. Outlawing abortion is discriminatory against poor women.

If abortion becomes illegal, privileged, rich women will be able to obtain safe abortions by traveling to other countries. Poor women, however, will be forced to either carry the pregnancy to term or attempt an unsafe abortion on their own. This ties back into my previous post. Why should rich women have the right to abortion, while less privileged women don't?

9. Choice saves women a lot of emotional pain.

An excerpt from a piece by Kathryn Joyce, called Shotgun Adoption.

Jordan was isolated in the shepherding family's house; her only social contact was with the agency, which called her a "saint" for continuing her pregnancy but asked her to consider "what's best for the baby." "They come on really prolife: look at the baby, look at its heartbeat, don't kill it. Then, once you say you won't kill it, they ask, What can you give it? You have nothing to offer, but here's a family that goes on a cruise every year."

Jordan was given scrapbooks full of letters and photos from hopeful adoptive parents hoping to stand out among the estimated 150 couples for every available baby. Today the "birthmother letters" are on Bethany's website: 500 couples who pay $14,500 to $25,500 for a domestic infant adoption, vying for mothers' attention with profuse praise of their "selflessness" and descriptions of the lifestyle they can offer.

Jordan selected a couple, and when she went into labor, they attended the birth, along with her counselor and shepherding mother. The next day, the counselor said that fully open adoptions weren't legal in South Carolina, so Jordan wouldn't receive identifying information on the adoptive parents. Jordan cried all day and didn't think she could relinquish the baby. She called her shepherding parents and asked if she could bring the baby home. They refused, chastising Jordan sharply. The counselor told the couple Jordan was having second thoughts and brought them, sobbing, into her recovery room. The counselor warned Jordan that if she persisted, she'd end up homeless and lose the baby anyway.

"My options were to leave the hospital walking, with no money," says Jordan. "Or here's a couple with Pottery Barn furniture. You sacrifice yourself, not knowing it will leave an impact on you and your child for life."

The next morning, Jordan was rushed through signing relinquishment papers by a busy, on-duty nurse serving as notary public. As soon as she'd signed, the couple left with the baby, and Jordan was taken home without being discharged. The shepherding family was celebrating and asked why Jordan wouldn't stop crying. Five days later, she used her last $50 to buy a Greyhound ticket to Greenville, where she struggled for weeks to reach a Bethany post-adoption counselor as her milk came in and she rapidly lost more than fifty pounds in her grief.

When Jordan called Bethany's statewide headquarters one night, her shepherding mother answered, responding coldly to Jordan's lament. "You're the one who spread your legs and got pregnant out of wedlock," she told Jordan. "You have no right to grieve for this baby."

Forced/coerced adoption isn't the only problem. Forcing a woman through a pregnancy can cause a tremendous amount of pain for her, and it can scar her for life. Many women experience depression after having c-sections, particularly if those c-sections were forced. The less choices women have, the more pain they are likely to experience.

And last, but not least:

10. Choice saves lives.

Choice saves women's lives. It's true. You can deny every illegal and unsafe abortion that has ever happened, but as long as women are deprived of choice, women die.

What are some things that you like about choice?


  1. I feel like anti's are anti because they figure that such things like unwanted pregnancies would NEVER happen to them. And they lack the capacity to sympathize with women who do end up pregnant. And this really all circles back to what Jessica from Feministing calls the "purity myth" [her book entitled that is excellent btw]. It boils down to women shouldn't be having sex. Different people impose different "conditions" on a woman's capacity to have sex (eg. she should be married/in a monogamous relationship/engaged, etc), but any condition on a woman's sexuality is the same as a condition on abortion (that is, bad). These are people who can't move past the antiquated notion that women are just as entitled as men to have sex for pleasure whenever, however and with whomever.

    Aside from the standard argument that anti's should offer more support to pregnant women (such as healthcare), I think they should also focus on forcing the other half of the equation (read: the man) to take more responsibility. It seems it is ALWAYS the woman's fault. The man never seems to play a roll in their mind. Anti's seem completely incapable of identifying the root of the problem of unwanted pregnancy.

    Almost similar to my theory about blaming rape victims (eg. I never walk home alone at night, so I'll never get raped. She should have been more careful.) is that it is a way for a woman to distance themselves from an undesirable situation. So for female anti's, it seems that if they can make the pregnant woman who wants to abort "different" from them, then they can separate themselves from the consequences. Germans did this during the Holocaust. Jews were "different" and dehumanized, and thus it was easy to overlook the pain and suffering caused. If anti's could re-humanize these women, rather than making out to be demons, then they might, just might, understand for a split second why the woman is having an abortion.

    Anti's should have to go visit the mother in an abusive relationship with 3 kids under 5 and live her life for 24 hours before condemning her for wanting to abort her 4th child. [although an extreme example, lets focus on small steps - if they can accept it's okay for that mother to have an abortion, then the next step is one with 2 kids, etc...]

  2. Not Guilty is so full of crap. Get on her site and see who demonizes women.

    Many women have been in very abusive, no support, poverty situations, myself included (3 under age 6). Yes, I had sex and a child before marriage so there goes your idea on that.

    I looked for help, found it, got out. Have never regretted for a second my three children and could not be prouder of them and my decisions to protect their lives at all costs. Not Guilty realizes if women know that there is a lot of help out here, she will have to find something else to do, and it doesn't sound like she is qualified to do much more than play puppets with speculums and cut down women's clothing attire.

    Just curious. Does the puppet show help traumatized women emotionally recover from the violence of abortion?

    Not Guilty's rationalizing and excusing murder are nauseating.

    Proud ProLife Feminist Mother puking in mouth with the thought of Not Guilty coming in contact with anyone's daughter.

  3. Oh yeah. I watched the video too. In case you missed it Not Guilty, here it is again --


  4. I think numbers 1 and 3 are the biggies on that list. I've asked anti-choicers who claim to be for women's rights what good they think making abortion illegal would do for women, and they don't answer the question. And that's because you can't work towards equality when you believe that women's bodies belong to men or the government or any other entity besides themselves.

    As for number 3, I think it's imperative that women don't depend on their boyfriends for birth control, even if they're in a loving relationship. I would highly recommend any woman in a relationship to secretly go on the pill.

  5. Excellent and articulate points, as always :)
    I recently found out about the link between abortions, cesareans and VBACs, too. Can't say I'm surprised. The antis don't seem to get how restricting one thing can affect all sorts of other things.

  6. Oh we get it alright. Those intent on doing evil will always find a way. . . . .

    None are so blind as those who Chose not to see.

  7. Nice word FEMily -- "secretly" -- makes for such loving relationships.

    You are only as sick as your secrets.

  8. FEMily- My boyfriend and I only use condoms. I was on the pill for a while and I hated it and the side effects. It works well for some other women, though.

    I've been thinking about getting an IUD. Not so sure, though.

  9. A lot of guys don't want to use condoms if their girlfriend is on the pill. It's easy to say to break up with those guys, but it's a lot more difficult to do and find someone else who's different. So if a woman can take the pill, I think it's important that she use it and not tell the boyfriend, especially if he reluctantly uses condoms to begin with. Same goes with a guy who is told by his girlfriend that he doesn't have to use a condom because she's on the pill. He should wear it anyway. One has to be in control of one's own birth control. It's not so much a trust issue as it is a personal safety issue. The consequences are too risky to put it in someone else's hands. The only way you know that at least one of you is using a birth control method is if you personally use it. And if it turns out that both partners are using a birth control method, that's even better.

  10. "It's easy to say to break up with those guys, but it's a lot more difficult to do and find someone else who's different."

    We wouldn't want anything to be "more difficult" since the goal is to make the relationship all about you (same goal your partners have by the way).

    You young ladies sure seem to know alot about healthy relationships. Looking back, I guess I did at your age too. You are in for a long, heartbreaking ride.

  11. "Without choice, women will never be respected."

    This was the BIG PROMISE 40 years ago! Women are disrespected more now than ever before. I know because I have been alive through all of this. It is getting worse and worse every year! Young women fell for the BIG LIE back then and are still falling for it now. If having the legal right to kill your offspring was going to solve all the disrespect of women and give them full equal rights, why hasn't it done so in all these years? Men in Power fooled women then!

    Some compassionate church leaders predicted 40 plus years ago that young women would become as violent as the young men. You are brainwashed and don't even realize it!

    Taylor, I just looked into you site. Are you really only 15? I am heartbroken. I have children older than you. You are commenting on pro-abortion sites at 15? Where are Mom and Dad?

    Happy Easter to all of you.

    P.S. Please, Please be open-minded to what some of us older women who have been there are trying to tell you.

    My heart is truly breaking . . . .

  12. I never said that having the right to choice will automatically mean that women will be respected. I said that, without it, it's IMPOSSIBLE for women to ever reach the goal of respect. How could respect be possible if society doesn't even recognize the fact that we own our own bodies?

  13. You are wrong on so many counts. Women have traded in much in order to "make it" in our world. Even to the point of killing our own children! You only need to look at your own idea of what "making it" in our world means to discover the truth.

    God ultimately owns your body. You are expected to take care of it. Stop treating your own body and others' bodies as toys and objects and take responsiblity for having healthy, respectful relationships that don't require shame and "secrets." Many have attempted to talk sense with you and ultimately you will be partially responsible for leading yet more young women further down the path of objectification because you are so self-centered, you refuse to listen and are so POSITIVE that you are right! You have the world at your fingertips. Start researching and learning. The answers are right there.

    Whatever path you CHOOSE, in twenty years from now, remember that your and my paths crossed for a reason. Easter is a good day to look for SIGNS.


  14. I do respect my body. Anti-choicers are the ones who treat other people's bodies as objects. I recognize the fact that women are not incubators, they're people. I do have a respectful relationship with my boyfriend. There is no shame, no secrets.

  15. Uh Anon, what site are you TALKING about? I don't have a "site". I FOLLOW a blog, but I don't write one. There you go with the lies...

    Also, don't feel sorry for me. Feel sorry for the women who die from botched abortions because people like you refuse to let them have safe, legal ones. Pray for THEM.

    PCG: IUD's are great! I got mine a couple months ago. I was on Depo Provera before, which I also liked. But with the IUD, you set it and forget it!

    Ya if I "look" for signs, I'll find them. Human beings are wired to look for patterns when there are none. Humans find patterns in random numbers (and bread for fucks sake). Get off your high horse Anon. And Anon, "God" does not own my body. There is NO SUCH THING! I own my body and when I die, I TURN INTO DIRT! And so do you :). You are positive that you are right too. So you do what you want, and we'll do what we want.

    It's funny, turns out my mom had a VBAC 24 years ago. I was an emergency c-section and my brother was a VBAC. Bet she has no idea that today, a woman in her position would likely be pressured into having another c-section. I'll have to point that out to her!

  16. I don't want to pay for your abortions.

  17. "and bread for fucks sake" Do you see the sign here PCG? Hint, Hint -- it's the word BREAD.

    Not Guilty is SOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO Guilty.

  18. What I object to is women who use abortion as a method of contraception. Just get a damn IUD fitted, take the pill or get your man to use condoms. When I stayed in China, abortion was the preferred method of contraception. The men said condoms hampered the sexual performance and women didn't want to go on the pill as they say it made them fat. This has nothing to do with poverty.

  19. Contraception prevents pregnancies, so abortion can not be used as a method of contraception. Even if it could, I still respect her choice and her bodily autonomy.

    Still though, I've never met a person who got pregnant repeatedly just to get abortions.

  20. VoD,

    Re: Apple Argument

    "I'd still like to do it since it comes up so often and antis seem to think it's the be all end all argument. When it comes up I'd like to be able to post my link and be done with it lol."

    How's your argument coming? We're waiting . . . . . Must be difficult.

  21. Catholics are so fucking out of control. Some Christians are getting this way too. I respect beliefs but people should under no circumstances be allowed to let their religious beliefs impact the fact-based, logic-based beliefs of others.

  22. "Choice saves lives"


  23. "Catholics are so fucking out of control." How do you really feel about those pesky Catholics?

    Jenn Paul

  24. To Anonymous at 1:27 PM, I don't want to pay for your wars, but, even as a Canadian, I am.

    Funny, isn't it, that most people who are ProChoice are the ones who are at least posting under something other than anonymous.

    I pity my cousins with their PL mother. Yet, NOT because what side of the abortion issue you are has ANYthing to do with what kind of parent you will turn out to be. Because she literally places the blame on her children for everything she does.

    Also, why are people posting sites that are obviously fake? Here, I can do it, too:


    In other news, here is a link to a similar piece that outlines why one should be ProChoice:


  25. Sorry.

    The murder victim pics are real but maybe you sleep better believing they are fake?

    "He who is good is free, even if he is a slave; he who is evil is a slave, even if he is a king." Augustine

    You are no more a Free or Holy Woman than anyone on Death Roe.


  26. "Because she literally places the blame on her children for everything she does."

    Abortion would have solved many issues and all for several easy payments. Auntie would only have you left to blame, your cousins would be dead and you'd have to find someone else's parenting to judge.

  27. A couple of questions (I'm just curious):

    If having had a previous c-section makes an abortion more dangerous, then why have the abortion? Doesn't that put more women in danger?

    Also, why do you believe that not having abortion will strip women of their rights? I mean, in Ireland, abortion is illegal, and Ireland is a feminist country, and always has been. Women hold a very high place in society. Men don't do anything there without a woman's say so. Women are the clan leaders and town leaders because, throughout history, men have gone out and worked all day in the fields, while the women have run the household and raised the kids. Because of this, the Irish believe that a woman can withhold food, sex, etc., force men to sleep on the couch, or even kick them out of the house. Therefore, I don't get it when people say that abortion will take away all of women's rights and respect for women because I come from an Irish family. Both my parents work, and my mom has complete freedom to do what she wants without getting permission from my dad, and my dad completely respects her. Growing up, when I asked my dad for permission for something, he would say, "Go ask your mom." I don't see why it's not that way in other cases.

    I know that there are people willing to help mothers who are dealing with crises like being in school and whatnot. There are places to go to get education and job training while the kids are being watched, and the kids will even be watched while women are in school or at their jobs. There are places that do outreach and help abused women get out of their situations.

    I mean, I don't agree with what you're saying here because I really don't understand it. I've met women who are likewise told that there is no way out of abortion, no one at the clinics even helped them, and they WANTED their children. I know I stand at clinics to pray because I've met women who were forced into abortion, including my aunt, who later drank herself to death over it, and I want to help these women. I hear from pro-choicers all the time: "No one wants an abortion. It's a difficult decision." However, try to help a woman out of getting an abortion when she doesn't want one, and people are told that they're being abusive and need to mind their own business. I'm just curious as to why it's this way.

    Would you mind explaining? I'm only trying to understand, and not trying to be rude or anything, so if I come off as that, I'm really sorry, I really don't mean to be. I know it's not a black and white issue, and I've always been a feminist who never really got why other feminists are so adamant about abortion being a fundamental right, when I've only ever met women who it's hurt, and I know for fact that women aren't being hurt or denied other rights in places where it's illegal.

  28. Gee, there's something you seem to have missed. I'M not the one who was judging anyone. Oy.....

    Also, it is very sad that you think my cousins should find it preferable to have suffering enforced on them, especially when you will NEVER be in their shoes.

    It seems to me you must be very confused about what the term 'ProChoice' means...? If not, then why was abortion the only form of medical treatment presented in the post, above? Here, let me explain it for you, then, if that is the case:

    My PARENTS are ProChoice, always HAVE been, always WILL be. But, gee, they have two children. Why? Simple. The ONLY difference between PCers and PLers merely happens to be that the former NEVER views pregnancy or childbirth as obligations to be enforced on someone. I can't imagine how I would feel if I found out that I had just been an obligation that had been enforced on my mother. But I would think I would feel very sad, unloved and unwanted.

    If my cousins had felt even a fraction of those feelings(and I don't know if they DID or not, because, AGAIN, I am not comparing parenting styles to one's view of abortion), I would think they would be even worse off than they are NOW.

  29. As an edit to my previous post, for clarification, that reply was directed at the second last poster before my own. Furthermore, the last part of my comment was attempting to address an assumption that that same poster had apparently made, even though that *same* assumption was something I was trying to demonstrate should be aVOIded. I stated quite clearly that my aunt was ProLife so there would be an OBvious disconnection between what her position on the abortion issue was and her parenting styles. And that that last, again, underlines that by saying there is no relationship between the two, I'm also saying that not even what a child learns about their parents beliefs towards them is affected BY those views. So how would a child automatically know, let alone others, as a result, that their parents felt that way?

    I've never met women who have been hurt by having an abortion they consented to, explicitly, fully informed and continuously. When someone does not consent to the procedure in that manner, that is NOT ProChoice, that is anti-choice. I HAVE met women who were hurt by forced gestation.

    This is to the third last poster from my previous post. Murder is a legal term. It means illegal killing with malice aforethought. Abortion WASN'T/ISN'T murder even when/where it was/is illegal.

    If murder was not a legal term and it's definition DID describe abortion, then soldiers would also be murderers (considering they kill more non-combatants than combatants) and so would all those that don't immediately consent to organ donation.

    Btw, if those pics that same anonymous provided ARE real, then why do all accredited, peer REVIEWED medical sites dismiss them as fakes? WHERE did they get these photos, if the fetal contents are treated as hazardous waste and violation of these regulations would constitute an infraction of the law that would require a mandate to be shutdown? Why are you admitting publicly to illegal action taken by this site since abortion clinics do NOT let the general public to witness an abortion?

  30. If you're denied the most basic right to bodily autonomy, you ARE being denied other rights. And I know of no where abortion IS illegal where women are NOT denied other rights.

  31. "If having had a previous c-section makes an abortion more dangerous, then why have the abortion?"

    -Because she should still have the choice. Also, from what I understand, having had a previous c-section makes giving birth more dangerous, too.

    "Also, why do you believe that not having abortion will strip women of their rights? I mean, in Ireland, abortion is illegal, and Ireland is a feminist country"

    There is no such thing as a feminist country that does not respect a woman's bodily autonomy. Bodily autonomy is one of the most basic rights, and if you don't respect that, you don't respect women at all. You can't force a woman through a pregnancy and claim to respect her. By the way, you seem to think that "feminist" means that women are superior to men. That's not right, it means that they should be treated equally.

    "I hear from pro-choicers all the time: 'No one wants an abortion. It's a difficult decision.' However, try to help a woman out of getting an abortion when she doesn't want one, and people are told that they're being abusive and need to mind their own business."

    Those pro-choicers are just plain wrong. There are a lot of people who want abortions. No one wants an unwanted pregnancy, but a lot of people want to end their unwanted pregnancies. It's one thing if you're trying to help a woman out of abortion because she doesn't want that abortion, but it IS abusive when you're trying to force her through the pregnancy when she doesn't want to go through it.

    "I know it's not a black and white issue, and I've always been a feminist who never really got why other feminists are so adamant about abortion being a fundamental right, when I've only ever met women who it's hurt, and I know for fact that women aren't being hurt or denied other rights in places where it's illegal."

    Sorry, but you are arn't a feminist if you don't believe in the right to choice. Saying that a feminist can be against a woman's bodily autonomy is like saying a feminist can be against a woman's right to vote. Forcing women through pregnancies absolutely does hurt them. When I was 14, I was raped, and I decided that if I got pregnant, I would kill myself. How would forcing me through that pregnancy be "helping" me? Forced pregnancy can and does traumatize a lot of women. When you force a woman through a pregnancy because you think that the abortion will hurt her (and in most cases, it won't), you're basically saying that she's too stupid to know what's best for her. I'm not the one to take a person's "feminist card" away, but until you believe in basic human rights for women, you can't be a feminist. I don't know if you know it, but you're supporting a misogynistic cause. I pray that you'll learn, though. You seem well intentioned.

  32. Thanks for praying for me PCG. I need a lot prayers. Always have and always will. God Bless You for thinking of me. I will continue to remember you in mine as well.

    Proud Pro-Life Feminist Mother

  33. "No one wants an abortion. It's a difficult decision."
    When I was knocked up I wanted an abortion. The decision was not at all difficult.



Due to constant spam and derailing coming from a few antis, I am now making this blog a "safe place". This does not mean that I won't allow opposing views. It means that I'm not longer going to allow hateful or unrelated/spammy comments. This will continue on until the anti-choice spammers get bored with harassing me and the people who post here, and is especially relevant when it comes to the topic of rape. I hope this doesn't deter any respectful people from commenting. :)