Anti-Choicers and Rape Apologists

When I first became interested in feminism, the topic that interested (and horrified) me the most was rape, and in particular, rape apologists. Rape apologists are the people who say things like "I'm against rape, but it really was her fault for wearing that skirt". They're the people who would rather blame victims of rape for being raped, as opposed to blaming rapists for raping people. Rape apologists have a long list of things that people, particularly women, should do/not do in order to not get raped. If these rules were to be made law, America would start looking a lot like some middle eastern countries. Rape apologists use rape as a tool to exert their dominance over women, and sadly, it's working.

I don't think it's a coincidence that the vast majority of rape apologists that I've met have been anti-choicers, and that many (most?) antis that I've met have been pro-rape. The similarities between rape apologists and anti-choicers are striking. Antis, like rape apologists, like to blame the woman for the pain that she's in. If she's hurting from an unwanted pregnancy, you'll hear them say "It's her fault, she shouldn't have been having sex". Rape apologists deny the pain of rape victims by saying that "It's just sex. Sex is natural". Anti-choicers do the same thing by claiming that, since pregnancy is natural, forcing a person through a pregnancy won't hurt hir. Anti-choicers use pregnancy, a beautiful and natural occurrence, as a weapon to keep women "in their place", just as rapists use sex, yet another beautiful and natural occurrence, to exert their dominance over people and to put them "in their place". Antis believe that the fetus has the right to use another person's body against hir will, much like the belief that people should always have access to a woman's body for sex, despite what she says. Their beliefs show a complete disregard for people's bodily autonomy and the right not to be violated. Rape apologists and anti-choicers just don't get that sex and pregnancy are both beautiful. Forced sex and forced pregnancy are not.

If you try to discuss the subject of pregnancies that resulted from rape with an anti, you're not likely to hear a lot of sympathy coming from their side. Whenever I try to have this discussion, the antis are never able to sympathize with the women. It's always about the fetus for them. They'll include both the rapist and the fetus into the discussion by saying something like "It's not the baby's fault that its father was a rapist!", but there will be no mention of the person CARRYING the fetus. Rape victims are invisible to them. They speak of us as if we're objects that feel no pain.

Now, if you're lucky, the anti MIGHT acknowledge a rape victim's existence by saying that she can just "give the kid up for adoption". This is just another way to ignore the pain that the person carrying the fetus might go through. I've never been pregnant, but I'm willing to bet that pregnancy is no cakewalk. I can't imagine how some people may feel when they get pregnant as a result of rape. Giving the child up for adoption doesn't mean that you don't have to go through 9 months of pregnancy. It won't erase the trauma. The abortion issue isn't just about the nine months of pregnancy, or just about the responsibility for the child afterwards. It's about the whole picture. Pro-choicers don't ignore some people's pain by narrowing the scope. If an anti isn't trying to make rape victims completely invisible, then s/he will most certainly try to make hir pain invisible.

Rape victims are invisible to a lot of people. Most people won't hear our voices. Most people don't even know what rape is, beyond the idea of a young, pretty cis girl being attacked and raped in a dark alley. Anti-choicers neglect us, because they know that hearing us out is detrimental to their political agenda. They know that listening to our voices can't possibly benefit their agenda, so they ignore us. It seems like they'll hurt anyone and everyone, as long as they get their way.

I've had a lot of triggering conversations with antis about this subject. Their complete disregard for the experience and emotions of rape victims horrifies me. It's made me come to the realization that, if we were to let them win, the rape culture would win, too. It wouldn't be just the right to choose that would be flushed down the drain. Other rights would go, as well. Any right that has to do with protecting our bodily autonomy will be destroyed. Anti-choicers and rape apologists have similar beliefs and goals and, in a sense, they make perfect partners in crime.